Surprise surprise, right? But you don’t really appreciate this simple statement until you get here. It goes a little something like this: exams get close so people start to get competitive. What this entails is the formation of study groups, and with these formations come issues each group must address in terms of who to let in or out. If you are NOT in a study group (as I am not) then you might feel like you’re missing out on the information covered in their meetings, or somehow, they are gaining a competitive edge on you by the discussions they engage in while in their group. In fact I often feel like I am missing out on valuable study time whenever I see others studying when I am not. Maybe this is due to some competitive spirit I have buried deep inside me (both with others and with myself) but I feel like if I want to give law school by all — really give it my best shot — than I have to force myself to out-study in order to out-perform. What results: stress.

On my god, the stress. I think it all came to a head the night before last when I was reading for my dreaded Elements class. That class that is so nebulous, abstract, theoretical that it embodies the worst of what people say about law school: you don’t learn the skills needed to practice law. I think this statement is probably most correct for elements. Although, I am sure there is an argument that it molds or shapes one’s thinking in a manner that might make on more able to think about the law, why certain statutes work they way they do, etc. Anyway, reading the excerpts I thought to myself: “I don’t understand ANY of this.” I had been reading the endless assignment for about 4 hours and when all was said and done, I might be able to say one or two real substantive things about the principles behind the readings. In fact, if I get called on in the upcoming class . . . it won’t be pretty.

So not only is there stress to out-perform others, but now I also feel legitimately stupid. Awesome. My hat goes off to a couple classes of people in my class: those that are so brilliant that they seem to understand every principle, every concept presented (even in Elements), and those that just don’t care enough to learn all the principles and concepts. This latter group has figured: “Well, chances are I’ll probably end up somewhere in the middle of the pack, which is good enough for me considering the crazy smart people that go to this school.” I am starting to transform myself to be more like these people since it is clear that the former group (those crazy smart kids) is just too bright to compete with.

Without Elements in the picture, I would feel pretty confident. I understand most things and think I could coherently put together a solid exam essay at the end of the quarter. But then every Tuesday and Friday, Elements comes around and just absolutely humbles me (read: crushes my soul) as to my abilities.

So anyway, moral of the story of this post is just what the title reads: Law School is Hard, and if you’re not careful (like me) it will run you over and simply demoralize you in terms of your self-confidence.

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